armyofsnails: (fear me)
Bestival, Bjork, The Cure, rain, mud, hailstorm, here I come!!

Amongst the things I'm taking:

- Wellington boots with daisy pattern
- Giant stripy umbrella
- A vast, vast heap of spare socks and wooly jumpers
- 1950s style pin-up dress
- Shakable torch from Eden Project
- Physicist with tent and assembly instructions (to be picked up from office tomorrow)
- Ginger Drunken Flatmate (to be dug out in field tomorrow)

Wooohoo
armyofsnails: (snail boob)
I had a python sit on my shoulders on Saturday night - put there by a bellydancing snake charmer. A strange, strange sensation - the scaly beast started wriggling about (as scaly beasts do) and I could feel my neck being squeezed by the giant muscle while I stood in the middle of the room with a huge idiot grin on my face.

In other news, friend of a friend has expressed an interest in my paintings and asked whether I would want to do a storyboard for his film (located in a Greek monastery). I've no idea what it entails and it'll probably come to nothing, but I can't let this chance go without at least finding out more (and bragging about it, of course).

And all the M&E people on the Birmigham construction site are now terrified of me! Long boring story involving mechanical installation gone wrong on three floors, and my causing a massive commotion on site two weeks ago. I arrived there last Thursday to find the M&E subcontractor under his desk, claiming he was hiding from me. Then jokes about "being killed by the architect, a glamorous death." Heh.
armyofsnails: (Simpsons)
Had champagne and vodka cocktails, met the music director of Shakespeare's Globe, spent a large part of the evening talking to the author of this song, a real sweetie who later tried to teach me salsa (again, and failed again). This morning I wake up on friend's sofa, stumble into his cousin's room to get my coat to find two blonde ladies on his bed, a brunette wrapped around him, I register that his pants are down just as I trip over a bra lying in the middle of the room. The chap is sometimes known as Doctor Bigcock. Luckily I didn't see whether he lives up to this name, but the bra was a D cup at least.

Hahaha
Good times were had by all.
armyofsnails: (PVC)
There was a suspension and piercing performance, with a gorgeous tattooed redhead sticking huge needles into various parts of her body. Then hooks were driven through the skin of her back and she was suspended from a bar and shaken about wildly. Her man was eventually hung from the other end of the bar and, while swaying to and fro, he proposed to her, with rings and everything! Naturally the crowd went wild, but I noticed that the girl didn't actually say "yes".

The place was full of pole dancers and some of them were astonishingly good. Generally people were wandering around in various bizarre costumes and/or stages of undress. Lots and lots and lots and LOTS of boobage... The unspoken rule seemed to be, "If it's saggy, don't show it", so there was plenty of perky flesh of both sexes to ogle at... G and I ended up wearing matching PVC (not intentionally, it's just that last minute shopping at Honour meant they had run out of the garments we actually wanted to buy).

There were some classic burlesque performances like the bathtub one, and a few really odd acts... Towards the end of the night a naked girl stood on stage accompanied by strange, low wailing music, covered her head completely with a huge lump of clay (eyes, nose, mouth - god only knows how she was breating) and proceeded to form different shapes out of the lump with her hands. The clay was dripping all over her body.

All pretty damned good. Think I'll go to another TG - they run once every couple of months.

And I bought a superb hat at a vintage shop behind the Waterloo train station. The shop is full of glitter and features the HOTTEST shop assistant in the universe, complete with a 1950s hairdo and a polka dot dress.
armyofsnails: (fear me)
The last thing I remember on Saturday night is standing my kitchen with a general director of a fetish company from North Carolina called Tim, shouting, jumping up and down and downing shots of Stoly.

It's good to be back.
armyofsnails: (fear me)
Felt kinda high towards the end - undoubtedly a combination of caffeine, agitation and the physical effort of handwriting (sounds ridiculous, but I had not had to produce legible handwriting in nine years, so it was actually a tremendous effort).

Following the exams on Friday, crawled into the nearest pub and proceeded to drink and babble about life, universe and architecture with my soon-to-be-ex-coursemates until small hours of the morning.

The weekend was spent blinking at the sun and going, "Wow, so THAT'S what it looks like."

Went to watch [livejournal.com profile] captain_g's grading in Tang Soo Do. There was a lot of whirling around and making funny noises, and he got an orange belt at the end of it.

Caught the very end of The Surreal House at the Barbican. The strangest exhibit was entitled "METAL FUCKING RATS" (by Noble & Webster): a heap of metal on the floor with a projector behind it shining a light on the wall, and the resulting shadow looked exactly like two rats having sex. The amount of detail in the shadow was incredible. Mr B and I stood pointing at it and laughing our heads off, whereas everyone else in the gallery pondered the exhibit seriously. Honestly, what the hell is wrong with people? Dung, glitter tits and canned shit are meant to be funny, yet there they are holding their chins, reading a load of ridiculous tosh about it and looking thoughtful because they think that's what they are supposed to do in galleries.

Generally I'm just happy not to be reading about promissory estoppel and liquidated damages for a change. Hopefully NEVER AGAIN.
armyofsnails: (Default)
A picnic in the grass by the Mill pond, next to us a big group of scantily clad hippies with a pair of very good looking dogs, inhaling laughing gas like there's no tomorrow. Balloons galore! Two men leave the group to relieve themselves, and one is already having trouble keeping his trousers up. His underwear is red with a white chequered pattern. I wish I could erase that from my memory, but alas, almost a week later it's still with me.

Who the hell thinks men's novelty underpants are a sight to behold? Even on the best of men they look sad. I'll take girlie panties over these anyday...
armyofsnails: (PVC)
Got drunk, danced barefoot, very nearly lost my shoes. We whirled around like lunatics on an empty dance floor with Electric Six and Nine Inch Nails playing.

Was propositioned by a tipsy car salesman who suggested (in front of several people) that I could have sex with him in secret. It was amusing enough. [livejournal.com profile] razornet was eager to jump to my rescue but it wasn't really necessary. (Does trying to pull at weddings actually ever work? I suppose the Poruchik Rzhevsky principle applies here).

Then I had the chance to compare the naked legs of the groom and the groom's father (both wearing Scottish attire, so easy access).

Drunken presentation of the wedding present - a hand sewn Team Spleen flag.

Then
[livejournal.com profile] razornet lost his jacket.

[livejournal.com profile] diasporal_waves looks very impressive in a leather corset (have you considered the career of a fetish model?).

The wedding cake had Mario figures on top and a "GAME OVER" skull picture on the icing.

This morning was spent gorging on black pudding and wandering around the grounds of the manor house in Bedfordshire. Gorgeous snowdrops, sheep and sunshine.
armyofsnails: (PVC)
At the Kings Head Comedy Club last night with Mr B. Haven't been before, despite the fact that it's practically on my doorstep. It was lovely actually - the acts were genuinely amusing though not particularly original, and the audience was very responsive.

The warm-up guy's shtick was to bully the members of the audience that were closest to him. He picked on several people clockwise from the left, first asking them what they did for a living and then delivering an appropriately amusing short monologue about it. Every person he asked was either a lawyer or an IT consultant (we're in Crouch End, remember?).

Then he got to us two. Librarian and architect. That threw him off the track quite noticeably. He made up some odd comments about the colour of books and then asked me what my favourite building was. I said a church in Portugal (standard answer when I don't want to think). He instantly started looking somewhat constipated. Mr B suggested he should move onto the next person. Without much ado, he did.
armyofsnails: (racer)


The god is covered in gifts because every person who sees it must sacrifice something to it, or else they will be cursed with a terrible curse. I gave it a small mint chocolate.
armyofsnails: (man replacer)
Erotica (purchases: a peacock mask, wrist to neck restraints, a shirt with iridescent Daleks); Ashbees wine bar; Thai ladyboys; grilled snails; Ashbees again, and talks of life, death and the Universe with the landlady Elizabeta; running around rooftops at night, followed by listening to medieval music and discussing the shape of rare woodwind instruments; having an argument and passing out in the Republic of Earls Court (also known as Dan the Musician's house) at six in the morning - more specifically, in the Giant Doctor of Anthropology's room which rather appropriately looked like an archaeological site - the Giant Doctor himself being away for the weekend.

Head hurts, must prepare my presentation for this Tuesday's study group. Want to die.

...and this was supposed to be my quiet weekend... No rest for the wicked heh.

Update, rest of Sunday: I made a killer vegetable stew with fried aubergine slices and oyster mushrooms and went to sit around at Villiers Terrace with my Part 3 books to get ready for the study group. Had a very productive session. Was ogled by two lads - possibly Czhech - who were drinking red wine at a nearby table but were too shy to talk to me (thank God). Just came back home and about to have a gorgeous bubble bath. Head no longer hurts. Life is beautiful.
armyofsnails: (PVC)
It was smashing. 25 litres of booze, four types of flavoured vodka, two broken glasses, two instances of drunken bizarreness, one giant doctor of anthropology, one Egyptian, 101 Dalmatians and comedy S&M. The best housewarming I've ever had.

A handful of photos... The rest are on FB )
armyofsnails: (fear me)


Entry policy: a and/or b, as below.

a. COSTUME
b. BOTTLE(S)

Location: the glorious land of N8 a.k.a. Crouch End (north London).

Further info: FB / click here / e-mail, text or phone me.

Primal

Oct. 20th, 2009 10:37 pm
armyofsnails: (fear me)
Generally speaking I'm a gatherer not a hunter. Although I did a bit of both last Saturday - shot at people with an airsoft gun (rather badly), wallowed around in the earth and dead leaves of a beautiful Hertfordshire woodland, and collected a big bag of chestnuts.

The chestnuts made their way to my oven where they were successfully roasted and half of them eaten while still burning hot. The other half ended up in a pumpkin risotto together with cream sherry, marjoram, thyme and parmesan shavings.

Ultimate autumnal fun.
armyofsnails: (fear me)
I have to thank [livejournal.com profile] diasporal_waves, [livejournal.com profile] devalmont, [livejournal.com profile] razornet and [livejournal.com profile] monkage (hope I haven't forgotten anyone else) for moving my carcass around on Saturday night. In my defence I don't reach this level of comatose very often.

The following morning had the added surrealism of my waking up in a strange room full of Transformers and guns.

Coffee, cinnamon rolls and Robot Chicken were most excellent.
armyofsnails: (Default)
Got drunk last night at Gordon's wine bar with [livejournal.com profile] razornet and three digital music professors (a Canadian one, a Japanese one called Itchy and an English one). As a result today my liver hurts. I sincerely hope there has been no permanent damage. Am giving up booze for the foreseeable future which admittedly won't be very long.
armyofsnails: (Japanese)
[livejournal.com profile] jagojalo has just pointed out to me a detail in the deer photo I took yesterday in Richmond Park...



OMG HAHAHAHA

We stood there for ages looking at the deer and we never saw the naked Buddha guy!! What the hell?

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