armyofsnails: (fear me)
So I'm going to the London Slutwalk this Saturday. I've been invited by a couple of friends. Not sure whether I'll bother dressing up for the occasion, but the weather should be good, at least.

I routinely flick through the Guardian and have come across an article on the subject, a usual mixture of half meant political correctness and half hidden derision that characterises Graniad articles of this nature. The comments are even more revealing. People in this country faithfully divide themselves into "Guardian readers" and "Daily Mail readers" yet sometimes there's only a marginal difference between the two.

ITCH

May. 11th, 2011 01:40 pm
armyofsnails: (fear me)
If you don't start itching by the end of reading this article, I'll buy you a pint.

"Morgellons: A hidden epidemic or mass hysteria?
Will Storr
The Guardian, Saturday 7 May 2011

It all started in August 2007, on a family holiday in New England. Paul had been watching Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix with his wife and two sons, and he had started to itch. His legs, his arms, his torso – it was everywhere. It must be fleas in the seat, he decided. Read more... )
armyofsnails: (snail boob)
"I love doing laundry. It's one of my guilty pleasures. I really hope my laundry gets totally dry. I hate moisture."

HAHAHAHA

armyofsnails: (Default)
Scrap being a florist. I've found something else for me to do if I get enough of my current profession...

Architectural jellymaking. A couple of ex-Etonians fill a room with gin mist, build a replica of the Gherkin, organise a 2000-person architectural jelly fight, and create a banquet with entirely black food.
armyofsnails: (mosshood)
So I missed my chance to get insulted by Jimmy Carr last night. He was rehearsing his new routine on a test audience which I was a part of. There were maybe just over a hundred people present, quite a cosy set up. He was wandering around the stage with a long list, ticking boxes for the jokes that worked and ones that didn't, depending on our reaction. Of course, most of his material rotated around sex, violence, death, and lack of political correctness. I mean, the hightlight of the evening was a routine about fanny farts, for God's sake, not to mention a good few about rape, dead babies... Yeah. His shows come with a disclaimer for a reason.

I missed my chance because at one point he started trying on various regional accents, then ran out of those and moved onto foreigners. Went through Americans, Aussies, and discovered there was a Lithuanian in the audience... I didn't speak up. Should have done, damn.

It was my first time at Riverside Studios in Hammersmith. Didn't even realise it was supposed to be a famous venue until I looked them up on the net today. It had a marvelous bar terrace facing the Thames and I got there just before sunset. Sat with a glass of wine looking at the Hammesmith bridge and the crazy kayakers whirling around in the water. Wonderfulness.
armyofsnails: (PVC)
South Park Muhammad episode censored

Well, having read that article I HAD to see it. As I have no TV I downloaded it. Uncensored of course, which is freely available online.

So I was watching it on my laptop, laughing like a madwoman and holding a drink in my hand and of course I spilled it in my lap. Concerned about the noise, Mr B knocked on my door to check whether I was all right... Very appropriately, at this point in the episode spoiler alert )... Hahahaha

There aren't many people I am willing to put my energy into stalking but Trey Parker and Matt Stone are pretty high on my list.

Have a thingymajig.


Help mossy and get your own badge!
(The Livejournal Electioniser was made by robhu)


armyofsnails: (Japanese)
Stan: Chef, how do you make a woman like you more than any other guy?
Chef: Oh, that's easy! You just gotta find the clitoris!
Stan: Huh?
Chef: Whoops!
Stan: What does that mean? Find the clitoris?
Chef: Uh....uh...forget I said anything!

The location of the clitoris is hardly a secret these days. However, women are still uncharted countries full of crazy mysteries. Or, to be more precise, one part of their body is...

"Andrea Burri, who led the research, said she was anxious to remove feelings of “inadequacy or underachievement” that might affect women who feared they lacked a G-spot."

I hope these words were taken out of context because otherwise that would be a bit of a shaky premise for an unbiased study. So what of the women who have experienced it - is it all in the mind, then? Because faking a G-spot orgasm would be pretty fucking difficult. And to what aim? Because I'm told I'm supposed to have it, alongside a bank account and a six-weekly haircut?

One of these days I'll verbalise my rant against the mainstream view of female sexuality and the misplaced expectations. Currently I don't have the time so it'll have to wait, but trust me I have plenty to say...

Anyway, fear not, because the sexually liberated, non-frigid French strike back, restoring the "inadequacy" of British women right back where it belongs! Hoorah!

Don't you just love the British media. Clever slogans, an unusual take on political correctness AND a British vs French battle all thrown in for the same price...

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