armyofsnails: (Gaudi snail)
I am developing an unhealthy obsession with our handsome Mayor.

Extracts from Boris Johnson's speech at the launch of the 2008 London Festival of Architecture

"I am not opposed to all tall buildings. When Barry and Pugin proposed Big Ben I bet there were all sorts of people who howled about monstrous carbuncles and I am sure that there is no one who would want to blow up the House of Commons now."

"Look at some of the housing we are building and ask yourself: 'What are the traditional features of this decade that yuppies will be rescuing from skips in a century hence?' I do not say that there is no answer, it is just that I haven't the faintest what those things are. But I know people in this room who know the answer."

"Augustus may have found Rome of brick and left it of marble, but when he had an urban planning problem he had Agrippa to sort it out. 'Get Agrippa!', as he doubtless shouted to his henchmen."

"And in an age when bottled water has become taboo, and when alcohol has been banned on public transport,"
[hahahaha!] "to have a new crop of drinking fountains across the city. And I don't think I am betraying confidences if I say that if we make sure there isn't too much fluoride in the water we can have the support of that vital architecture critic the Prince of Wales."
armyofsnails: (Gina)
Last night at S's exhibition opening in Chelsea:

On the way to the gallery I bumped into Boris Johnson outside the South Kensington station (see my previous entry about him here). I heard a tramp shout, "Oy, Boris, so what about drinking on the tube, ye bastard??" then as I turned around the Blond Master walked straight into me. I started laughing and he grimaced, ran his hand through his famous straw hairdo and walked away.

Later on that evening an extremely drunk guy who works in tracking (whatever the hell that is) tried to chat me up by talking about my leg. I laughed so much I almost pissed myself. I kept calling him "tie boy" all night and pulling on his tie while he was enthusing about the aesthetic qualities of my leg and the pleasing shape of my jeans! Then two old artists wearing black threatened to kidnap my friend S, and I had to rescue her from them! They were like characters from a Fellini film except creepier.

Life just gets curiouser and curiouser.

LAANDAN

May. 8th, 2008 01:12 pm
armyofsnails: (Default)
I'm still alive, albeit without the Internet, and a Londoner.

We have an old fox, two crows, a magpie, a squirrel, and a big black cat living in our back yard. In the mornings, Milo and the cat stare at each other through the glass of the living room window and make the weirdest noises I've ever heard. It doesn't even sound like wailing... or anything that could come out of a cat's throat. It's more like singing. Maybe they are serenading each other? They look scarily similar to one another; I reckon the other cat is Milo's anti-cat and if they ever touch they will explode in a burst of energy destroying the Universe with it.

The fox has half of his fur missing, lives on the garage roof and hardly ever moves throughout the day. The magpie sometimes sits by him and he wouldn't even bat an eyelid. I guess Mr Fox gets plenty of food scavenging and has no need to hunt. Milo however goes nuts when he sees the birds, but he's not allowed outside yet.

It's really quiet, despite the fact that we're just around the corner from the town high street. All I hear is church bells and birds quarreling in the bushes.

A few days after we've moved here Boris Johnson has won Mayor... Steve has already started calling him "OUR BLOND ALIEN OVERLORD" and wondering "whether Boris has broken London yet", and I've had messages from friends regretting that we now have to live in Boris's manor... What fun times.

Brought to you from work - I've been so swamped by workload I couldn't even get round to a quick LJ update until now... More to come.

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